10 Things We hate About Breweries

January 19, 2018

Let's be honest, going to breweries and drinking beer is an awesome experience. The music, the atmosphere, the beer all come together with other aspects to create a fun yet relaxing experience. However, there are also people and things that take away from that experience, thus this this exist. This is the top 10 things we hate about breweries.

1. The people who only drink flights (and let you know)

Ordering a flight of beer is a great way to try a range of beers all at once, especially if you are at a new brewery and have never tried any of their beer before. You can try 4-8 beers and get a sense of what a brewery is about without committing blindly to a beer that you may or may not like. Then there are those craft beer snobs who all they get are flights. Somehow by being that person who drinks everything on the menu multiple times this makes them superior in knowledge than other brewery-goers, which is not true. And then they will try and flaunt this "knowledge" to people who did not ask. Maybe they are just afraid of commitment. Of course this is not true of all flight drinkers and don't be afraid to order one if you are unsure of what to get.

2. Liquor drink orders

As a beerrtender at a brewery it is super annoying to be in the zone taking orders and pouring beer and all of a sudden hear the words, "Yeah, I'll have a rum and coke." It makes me cringe a little honestly. There is nothing wrong with drinking liquor or ordering it in fact but you are at a brewery dude. Did you not look around or glance up at the big menu above me with all of our beer options? Do you see Captain Morgan or Patron listed anywhere? I didn't think so. So if you are going out and decide to go to a brewery there is a good to fair chance that you are not gonna find liquor there. When in Rome drink the beer.

3. Brew Noobs

I want to say first that there is absolutely nothing wrong with not knowing a lot about beer or craft breweries. In fact if you are new to craft beer and decide to check out some breweries, that is awesome and welcome to the craft beer family. I'm not talking about these people. I'm talking about the people who go to breweries and make no effort in attempting to learn about or step out of their comfort zone when it comes to craft beer. Some people make take no joy in learning what craft beer and the industry is about. It is about a lot more than just finding the two beers that you like at that one place. These are the people we deem as "Brew Noobs".

4. People that bring their dogs/animals

Everyone loves dogs, as everyone should, but when you show up to a brewery and there are 17 dogs running around well that is simply too many. Breweries are an escape from the every day, a place where you can go with your friends or a date and enjoy a simple pleasure. This is very difficult to achieve when the chihuahua two tables over decides he suddenly does not like the husky inspecting his nether regions. If its early in the day and the tap rooms not crowded, go nuts, bring the dog, but when it peek drinkin' hours leave 'em at home. I'm looking at you single dude who brings the puppy to pick up girls.

5. "Strictly Sours"

This is a group of people who especially annoy me. These are the people who only drink one type of beer. This category is named in honor of the soaring popularity of sour beers. Breweries usually have a large selection of beer to choose from, anything from a light blonde all the way to the darkest of barrel-aged stouts. What I'm getting at here is that there is a vast array of beer to choose from and enjoy, and that experience/beerducation is stifled when a person only drinks one style of beer. For a while while it was IPA's however it may have been dethrowned very recently by Sours/Goses. And again there is nothing wrong with liking a certain beer or a particular style, but the amount of beer out there is honestly ridiculous and if you never try anything else you may never find that new favorite.

6. Glassware Thieves

These people have a front row seat on the boat to Hades. A lot of people enjoy the glassware from breweries and some people even collect their favorite pint glasses, I know I do. There are also people who like a brewery's glasses and steal them and honestly that is f&#@ed up. Let me tell you why. Some think it is not a big deal and that there are plenty of glasses so why would they miss just this one. Well you are not the only people to have this thought, and all of that stolen glassware adds up. As a company that has to buy A LOT of glassware we can tell you first hand that it is not cheap, and the cost of that stolen glassware comes out of the pocket of the people who own that place. Craft beer and the industry is about supporting small business as well as the people behind the scenes who make those tasty beverages for you so why would you want to do something that negatively affects them. Boom.

7. Line Talkers

As we all know the premise of a line, or "que" if not in America, is to get in the line and then as quickly as possible get out of that line, and for some reason this premise is not held by all. "Line Talkers" make this experience just that much more tedious. Now there are three types of Line Talkers: 1) the ones who talk too much to the bartender, 2)  the ones who talk to much to each other, and 3) the ones who talk to much to you. Starting with number one, as a beertender on a busy night, I promise you I don't care about the day at work you just had or that picture of you at the Spartan Race, tell me your beer so I can help the next person. Number two, getting beer in groups in quick and efficient, but beware because when people get in groups suddenly everyone becomes more distractable and suddenly the line moves but the group does not. Talk away but move when the line moves or everyone behind you starts feeling the white hot rage of a thousand suns. And finally number three, ever been caught in line with a stranger and they began chatting you up without any sort of warning? It can be a bit of a personal hell can't it. Now you are caught in a 5 to 10 minute back and forth of nonsensical conversation with 10 to 30 second awkward pauses sprinkled in there.

8. Patio Jerks

Everyone loves to go hang out and drink outside, especially if a brewery has a dope patio area, but don't let that be the only reason you go out to a place. Much of my issue is when people come to a brewery and expect to be able to sit outside. Some breweries have open seating but others may have designated seating in the forms of tables and chairs and when people have the expectation of being able to sit where they want and then can't, well this just ruins their whole outing. This may be a little nit picky and of course everyone is not like this but from my experience these sorts of people are out there. Moral of the story is go to brewery and enjoy yourself for the experience and not simply for amenities.

9. Wannabe Cicerones/Try Hards

I love discussing beer and the tasting notes as much as anyone but then there are those people who have to breakdown everything they are getting from a beer. Have you ever been out with some friends and have a conversation go something like this?

Friend 1: Oh man did you play that new Roacket League update?

You: Dude! Yes I love the new maps!

Try Hard Friend 2: This beer is impeccable, the complex notes coming from the El Dorado hops are just sensational! Are you tasting that stone-fruit? It is so forward on my palate,how are you not tasting that? Ohh and that mixed with tangerine and that balanced bitterness, phenomenal simply phenomenal.

Friend 1:...

You: (eye roll) Yeah...its a good beer man.

Sometimes, we all just want to sit back and enjoy a beer for what it is, which is delicious.

10. The "Domestics"

This has got to be one of my biggest pet peeves of all time and it happens all the time at the brewery I work at. I will be behind the bar, dealing out tasting craft beers to patrons, and then someone will come up to the bar and say, "I will have a Michelob Ultra", and this makes me want to face palm every time. First off there is nothing wrong with liking what you like and if that happens to be domestic beer, fine have at it. But when you knowingly come to a craft brewery and order a Michelob Ultra....come on son. There is so much amazing beer out there and when you are unwilling to branch out and try something new then I think there is a problem. Fun fact that same gentleman who requested that beer walked out because we made our own beer instead. Thus these types of people have been aptly nicknamed the "domestics.

Thank you for reading our wonderful list of 10 Things We Hate About Breweries! You can catch our podcast that we made of this list by clicking here, and there is also a special honorable mention that we discuss that almost made the list. So to find out what that was just head on over and give it a listen. Cheers!

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